jokes collection

jokes collection

November 16, 2018 0 By jsjeevan74gmailcom

jokes collection, funny jokes and these jokes gives full entertainment.so read carefully and enjoy Men and Women jokes.

ANTHONY JESELNIK: ANGRY GIRLFRIEND

She got really mad a month ago, because she had e-mailed me a naked picture of herself — which is a nice thing to do — but then I messed up, and I accidentally forwarded that e-mail to both of my parents. Now, my girlfriend is furious, mortified, but I don?t even care, ’cause now I have to call up my mother and say ‘Mom, I am so sorry — that picture was just for dad.’

ANTHONY JESELNIK: CHRISTMAS GIFTS

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance, ‘Baby, all I want from you this year is an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of list: Xbox.’ You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine — because I got her an Xbox.

JIMMY CARR: ARRIVING EARLY

Actually, a couple of weeks ago, I failed to perform sexually. I’m not going to go into detail, but suffice it to say, I ‘arrived early.’ And my girlfriend said, ‘Don’t worry, that’ happens to a lot of guys.’ I said, ‘There’s two things the matter with that. Firstly, who are these “a lot of guys,” and secondly, if it’s happening to more than one of us, don’t you think it could be your fault?’

 

JIMMY ALECK: NOT ANSWERING THAT

Now that I’m married, I’m being asked questions I have never been asked before in my entire life. The other day, my wife came up to me and said, ‘Do you think I’m fat?’ I said, ‘Excuse me sweetheart, but do you see “stupid jackass” written on my face? Do you see “let’s have a fight for no apparent reason” written on my face somewhere?’

JOHN HEFFRON: GIFT CARD

I went to the store with my wife ’cause we got a gift card from our wedding, and I went with her thinking I could help spend some of the money on the gift card. Rookie move — apparently, my name is just on there for decoration.